I just read my last post (which I posted only a few minutes ago) and was disgusted. I'm completely distracted. Lord, you know the desires of my heart-- You know how much I want a sustaining relationship-- Lord, help me to trust you more. God, how easy I get caught up with my interactions with boys. I have to admit it's fun and exciting to have attraction in my life. It's honestly a lot of fun being young and "looking". I just feel like I'm losing patients. Every boy I encounter I think about compatibility possibilities. There are too many options yet not enough. I firmly believe that we can fall in love with anyone if we choose to. I feel like God has given me the choice to love whomever I want--yet I want Him to align my spirit with my future husband's--I want to be confident in dating that I am not wasting my time or setting myself up to get hurt. If I have those doubts something is obviously wrong. Why do I let myself toy with the idea of dating someone who's core values don't align with mine--am i that desperate? Am I interested out of fear that no one else will like me? Am I interested because I'm flattered?
It's hard because I don't want to just cut things off with this Nick guy and not even give him a chance, but at the same time I don't want to get to a place where I am attached to this guy whose spirit is not aligned with mine.
I told him I'd come down next weekend to Sac because it's his birthday and he's going to dinner with some friends---which should be fun--but for some reason i'm second guessing myself. Lord, please guide me in this journey. Lord, you know my heart and I simply want to follow yours. Please guide me in my interactions with this guy and keep my heart right. Thanks God. Your the best!
You are right...God does know and does have the PERFECT man for you. Do not doubt that...you are such a catch and everyone knows it. :-)
ReplyDeleteSo, don't beat yourself up over being distracted...it's a natural desire and it's in your heart for a reason, my friend. I don't think God would be disgusted with you...I think He would say something like, "Oh, really? You think that guy's cute? Hm, well actually the one I have for you is better...but you really have great taste...He's a special guy."