???

I had a great weekend. Friday night I went to my friend Lily's Birthday party and it was a blast. Mostly bethel people attended and there was plenty of dancing and fun conversations. I had some conversations with Matt--an international student--and I couldn't help but feel that there was some possible attraction there. He is an awesome guy, but my only concern in our understanding of one another. Conversation with him is often difficult because I can't always understand him and I don't think he can always understand me. Joking around can be challenging sometimes. He is a fun, upbeat guy though, but I still don't know all that much about him. The guy that I originally liked from church was there--I definitely got some weird vibes from him--felt like he distanced himself from me--maybe he sensed my attraction toward him and didn't want to reciprocate--i'm not sure---honestly I'm not that worried about it---It was a school girl crush and I just wanted to get to know him more--which I did---and I'm content. He's still a neat guy, but my feelings have gone.

Saturday I drove to Sac to visit some old friends. We went to Nick's ranch which was a ton of fun! I loved meeting his family--kinda took me by surprise. Their family dynamics were attractive to me. Nick took us skeet shooting, horseback riding, zip-lining---the works. Nick has been extraordinarily kind to me and I know he's liked me in the past. On the way home he texted me and told me he wanted me in his life and that the 2.5hr drive is nothing--I'm totally worth it--he would drive down every week just to be with me. Sooo---i'm not sure how honest that was---it felt pretty genuine and sincere to me--I was definitely flattered---no guy has ever said anything like that to me before--and I think he meant it. I just unfortunately don't know if thats what I want or not.