Progress

The morning came---and went. I slept through it all.

My dad was waiting for me downstairs--noting the time I awoke--but not saying anything about it---he didn't have to---his eyes expressed the disappointment: Sleeping in again, huh?

It was almost 1pm this time, and he called me into the family room to talk.

Oh boy, here we go again.

I expected a guilt trip and braced myself for the conversation, but was surprised by my dad's communication skills.

"I love you" he said. "I am on your side"

He explained to me that he understands that "I am my own person" and have different strengths than he, and he expressed an effort to understand me better, so he can help me succeed.

Wow, I have a great dad.

Although the conversation was in parts difficult for me to hear, I was impressed with my dad's ability to express his thoughts and feelings. He wants us both to feel good about our living situation, and is looking out for both of our best interests.

At the end of our conversation he gave me some suggestions on how to better achieve my goals. He told me he believes in me and wants the best for me--that is why he feels it's in both of our best interests for me to contribute more (aka pay rent). He doesn't want me to be spoiled. And I am thankful for his ability to communicate it in a loving way. I had no objection. I completely agree---I want to carry my weight. I want to contribute---and I'm just trusting God for the means.

I don't have a job. I don't have a plan.

May sound ridiculous---but I think it's brilliant.

So far I feel quite accomplished. I already feel much closer to my family. My dad and I are beginning to understand one another better and figure out how to relate. Spiritual I feel like I've grown immensely. My emotional pain level has dropped significantly. Altogether I feel healthier and happier physically, emotionally, and spiritually!

I've been giving guitar lessons to kids at the christian school for free and volunteering my time helping out with BSSM2 Travel. I'm learning to manage my time when I don't have external deadlines, and I'm finally building the life that I want to live.

I feel great! I feel like I'm finally getting life right.

Thanks God for being so faithful! I look forward to all that You have in store!