Apple Tree

In our front yard, we have a beautiful apple tree. Last year, my dad decided in order to make room for his new RV, he would chop down almost half of the tree so he could squeeze his rig behind it.

In previous years, this apple tree produced mediocre apples. They were small and slightly bitter so you wouldn't want to eat them plain-- but my mom made some pretty stellar apple pies with them, so we enjoyed having the tree.

After my dad "pruned" this apple tree, my mom was nervous that the tree would no longer produce fruit because it looked as if nothing was left of the tree. To all of our surprise, the tree produced apples more abundantly then ever before, and they were the most juicy, and delicious apples I have ever had straight from an apple tree!

Today, I decided to go for a walk, and on my way to the trail I saw a rose bush and thought--wow, this rose bush needs to be pruned--
 
Why?

So it will bloom, I answered.
 
How will pruning help that?

 Well it can focus all it's energy and nutrients on only a few branches so they can bloom instead of trying to spread it's limited resources on a huge bush...

Then it hit me. BAM. That is what God is doing in my life. He's pruning me.

For those of you who don't know, I'll give a little background. I was a college student at Westmont for a year, and then Sacramento State University for a year. In both places I did well in school and I looked great on a piece of paper, but something was missing on the inside. I was empty. I was depressed. Although I had a number of friends, I felt alone.

What's wrong with me?! I would often ask myself. None of it made sense. I was president of the Snowboard Team, I had a 3.6 GPA, I had a great job at the fitness center, I had plenty of friends, I had a supportive family, I had all of my college expenses taken care of---Why am I not happy? I didn't have an answer at the time, but I knew something needed to change in my life.

I felt as if God called me to move home with my family. I called up my dad the Friday before classes started and told him I wanted to withdrawal, and he said, "okay, if that's what you think is best." Wow, what a great dad to believe in me.

So I gave it all up-- the title as snowboard president, the job, the friends, the scholarship--and moved home. Now what? I asked God.

Trust me

A few weeks passed and I became restless-- I started to doubt God's plan. I need to do something!
Trust me

I began to try to promote myself. I got involved with a church and quickly became apart of the core leadership. I found myself starting to become attracted to this guy there.

One night I had a conversation with this guy, and he was asking me some tough questions. I didn't know how to respond. I kept self-promoting. I arrogantly told him "oh yeah, I go to 2nd year school of ministry, but a lot of it is repeat for me, I already know all this stuff because I grew up around it.."

"oh" he replied, "so how has it been applying the principles to your life?"

Dumbfounded, I realized I hadn't been. I mumbled some reply like, "oh yea, its been great.." blah blah blah---but it hit me pretty hard. Dang, for being so "spiritually mature" I was pretty immature.

That night, being so intrigued by this guy who challenged me, I looked him up on facebook. I wanted to know more about him. God, why I am I thinking about him so much? I could feel that the attraction was only one way, and I was flustrated. Normally when I flirt with a guy they flirt back---not this guy---nope---nothing.

As creepy and stalker status as this sounds, I saw a link to his myspace page, so without thinking twice I clicked on it. Blog, I thought. I know I used the myspace blog, maybe I could learn more about him by reading his blog---I didn't think about how creepy it was until after the fact--I was just so curious.

His blog was in depth. WOW, I thought. That explains a lot. I was humbled. He so vividly wrote about his testimony and spiritual journey. He was incredibly open about his faith and was confident in who he was. The last four years he has devoted himself to a lifestyle of trusting in God. I read some of my old blogs---yuck---I was mess. No wonder this guy was not attracted to me--I am farther behind in my spiritual journey.

I felt myself desire to be more spiritually mature. I could tell that God used my attraction to this guy to speak to me. Looking back I saw that the last couple of years I had spent trying to promote myself. Self-promotion stems from a lack of trust in God I recalled from a sermon. I have heard a large number of sermons and have quite a bank of kingdom principles--But I do trust in you, God, I thought.

Do you? He asked. Then why do you try and control your life?

I thought for a second. Wow, He was right, I didn't really trust in Him. I had not submitted myself to Him fully.

Ok God, I submit myself to you, show me how to trust you like I've never trusted you before

So He is pruning me. Although right now I may not look attractive to the world to be "successful," God is helping me get my priorities straight. He wants me to pour my energy and resources into that which is most important for me right now, so I can produce the most juicy and delicious fruit. He has cut things out of my life like school, work, friends, responsibilities, ect---so I can seek after His heart and His plans.

"Seek thee first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you..."

That is the promise He has given me. Today I already saw breakthrough. After He revealed that He was pruning me and I agreed to trust Him, I had the best run I've had in a long time! I was able to run 4 miles and even pick up my pace the last half mile home. It was incredible! I have been struggling to be able to do basically ANYTHING, and today I felt I did so much and with such grace.

I even went to church tonight, and a guy named Alex from Scottland came up to me and gave me a prophetic word. I have never seen nor talked to this man before and he said to me, "It  might seem strange, but God wanted me to tell you that even though you think you need to get a job, He has a different plan for you and wants you to trust Him."

Wow, I thought. That totally was for me! I receive that!

I'm so excited for this journey God is taking me on. It is exciting to see Him working in my life in the most creative ways. I am so happy living a life submitted to Him, He has greater plans for me than anything I could try and achieve on my own. What a great God I serve! Thanks Papa God!