flattery and fallacy

I went to visit Nick last weekend.

It was his 21st birthday and since he doesn't drink, he invited friends to join him and his family for an amazing dinner.

Yes, I was the only female friend.

Dinner was exquisite. Fondue feast. Over $50/person and his parents paid for all ten guests. Wow.

I was treated like a queen all weekend.

I stayed in a beautiful guest house with included a private bathroom and kitchen. All my needs were met and all my wishes granted. This is too good to be true, I thought.

Nick showered me with words of affirmation. Speaking of me as if I were a goddess. He even opened his heart to tell me he has feelings for me and always has.

He tells me I'm unlike any other girl he's ever met. He expresses that he is mostly attracted to my personality more than to my physical appearance, although he reaffirms my physical beauty.

Not once did Nick try to make any advances. We even went star gazing with pillows and blankets. The opportunity was prime, yet the boundaries of friends were not crossed.

He was an absolute gentlemen the entire weekend. His respect for me is flattering beyond words.Yet, something in my spirit sleeps.

This is not the one I have for you
Although all the qualities were there in this man, something was missing---something that I believe is the most important aspect---the spirit connection.

I know he has faith in God, but the confusion that I felt spiritually while I was at his home, is the spiritual confusion I think he may be living in.

His father is an active Mormon, while his mother is simply a spiritual women. She attends the Mormon church with her husband, but she refuses to convert to Mormonism.

Their relationship is absolutely fascinating to me in how they respect each others beliefs, yet don't agree. I wonder how their dissonance affects the depth of their relationship. On the outside it appears to have little affect---but one can still wonder.

It's obvious that Nick does not care that our spiritual beliefs are different. He encourages me to "trust my god" even if "my god" is not the same as "his god".

Part of me wanted to believe that I could be satisfied in a relationship were our spirituality was our own and alignment was not necessary---but I can't.

I need a spiritual connection. I need connection in the depths of my heart---which includes my spirituality. I have to be true to myself and trust that God has future and a hope for me.