New Year is risky business

The New Year is a great time to reflect the direction of your life and re-calibrate where needed. At the end of this year, I find that I have most certainly grown and that my life has taken turns I never would have expected. Overall, I am satisfied. Even though my marriage thus far has been "rough" to say the least, I ask myself---given all the same circumstances---would I do it again? And the answer I determined is "yes".

Love is a risk. There is no certainty when you combine your life with another. That individual person is powerful and can choose to leave at any time. They can choose to be a completely different person and they are free to make whatever choices they would like. When you get married you assume that the person you are entrusting your heart to will take the utter most care of it. They will protect you, provide for you, and love  you with all that is within them---well that is what most of us women hope for anyway. Are those hopes false or foolish? I don't think in the least---but you have to know that there is a risk.

There is a risk that the person you know and love will change---and maybe into someone you don't really care for. There is a risk that the person will stop loving you---or have  a change of heart. There is a risk that the person will hurt you and not look out for your best interest. The list of risks goes on.

But I do believe that you  must take this risk. You haven't lived until you have given yourself to vulnerability simply for the chance of intimacy. Few actually have the deep level of intimacy that we all crave, but those who find it I am sure will tell you that it is all worth it.

Marriage does not alleviate your feelings of being alone, nor does it solve all your personal problems that already exist. In fact, it brings everything to the surface. I hope you can tolerate the worst parts of you, because everything will be exposed in marriage---everything.

My advice for those still single, is to clean up your act. Clean up the ugly areas in your life that you have stuffed away and hidden for no-one to see. Those parts of you that you don't like about yourself. Learn how to love yourself before you try and get married. If you can't love yourself, how can you be able to receive love from anyone? You will love your neighbor, and your spouse, the same as you love yourself---so if you are constantly criticizing and comparing yourself---you will also do this to your partner. So be the best you, and attract the best them. But even if you do this,there is still no guarantee that you will find love. If there was, it wouldn't be a risk.